that being my destination.

20070131

10:06 PM

everyone's an intellectual. i shall quietly slip to the bottom of my class. :) i've no idea how i'm going to study for my tests and all my schedule is super packed and i've got to squeeze time out just to fit in a few more things. it seems like i try to go to school as early as possible, then leave as late as possible in order to squeeze in a little more practice time.

i'm going to run for house comm. yay. i'm so going to kill myself like that but. haha nevermind. i like being super busy. :) hope i can get nominated. then i'll get to help out with sports day. aahh it's so scary they'll only choose 8!

my body better not die on me again tmr. last week my energy was totally gone by the time we did syf i kept spinning out of control. i bet they're regretting choosing me for dsa now. argh i'd better work hard i think i'm one of the lousiest now. :( and i need mirrors. i cant feel my movements, i need to see it. pfft. why cant i feel it anymore. it's all too mechanical.

had a nice talk with cheryl on the bus journey home. it's so true how despite the amount of fun i'm having, it's still hard to really fit in. it's the culture clash, the different wavelengths, different perspectives. it's harder since i'm from sc and i'm now in vj. would have been easier had i gone to ac. but. i love vj! :)

jazzo i think i need to start studying with you again.

&the joy.

11:14 PM

times have changed, people moved on.

it's so different now, no matter how you look at it. we've left behind the pieces, remnants of our joy, pain, hopes, dreams, and gone on. i'm living my dream in vj, just as many others are in the schools of their choices. but still. there's this nagging feeling, a constant reminder that even though the past is well, past, it still has happened before and will always be there no matter what. things have been zooming by so quickly that i havent been able to collect my thoughts or just sit and relax.

sorry to the people who have been trying to call me or messaged me and i didnt reply. i must have been really busy. or. well i'm witnessing a repeat of history. and i dont want history to repeat itself. it must stop, now. so if i dont pick up your calls or something, yes, i'm avoiding you. :) i'm not refering to anyone in particular here btw. just that, okay anyways i'm probably sleeping cos i'm suffering bad sleep deprivation now.

i've met so many new people, learnt so many new things. but the old still remains within me. talking to zara today about our sc days, i've come to realise that nothing can ever replace that which sc gave us. that sense of homeliness, of love. of becoming kimgeks.

it's not good to dwell on the past. i have to move on.

well it's not as if i have much time to dwell on the past anyways. there are so many things to complete. deadlines to be met, stuff to be done.

i love s44. for all our spasticness, retardedness. complete weirdness. i say without doubt that we are the weirdest class ever with the most rojak of personalities. everyone's so unique, so different. doing slv together was great. i'm so sorry i kept having to pangseh you guys to go for dance. you'll see it on cny! :) hopefully it'll be good.

yay the dancers rock. phoebe's so good. :) jinghan and weian are so nice. and helpful. yay. we managed to do almost 9 sets today! haha love you guys. and lorna my fellow cannot do hiphop friend. :)

&the joy.

8:40 PM

eefc 1990 kids

4/5/6 faith

6faith '02

tckidz/the other weird names we had :)

jia, sher, jaz and mrs wang!

wonderful friends of the past 16 years <3

photos make me nostalgic. o level results are coming out soon. things fly by so fast. we had a bbq at ms koh's place on sat. it's been a good 7 years since we all first met in 4f. amazing to see how everyone has grown (yes i did grow, darren) and to know that so many of them have been reunited in jj. :) miss my sc girls so so much but i'll see them around. i hope. i miss our orchard days.

jc life is hectic. i'm lagging in my tutorials and i have hardly any idea what we've learnt at all. and it's only january. everyone in vj is so intellectual i think i'm just going to be one of the stupidest. oh well. it's fun. :) need to complete choreo for cny by wed i'm not sure how, but we'll do it. haha and the syf piece is so nice! i hope i wont disappoint. i felt so bad on friday i'm sure i was dancing super badly. :(

we did our slv thingy today. sold chocolate fondue. i have chocolate all over my uniform now. so fun and yummy. :) i've got so many things to complete. but it's fun. :)

&the joy.

10:59 PM

an investment into another's life.

the days have been flying past, the transitions rough. maybe that's why we keep reminiscing the past, the days of our alma mater.

there's a saying that goes something like: friendship's like a bank account. you cant keep withdrawing without depositing. but do we really think of it that way? looking back on the way i relate to people, there are times when i'm being nice, a friend, out of some warped motive rather than a sincere want to invest in that person's life.

and what exactly does it mean to invest in someone's life? to give of your time and concern? or sharing your life, giving bits of it to that person. it's something we always take so lightly. the way we say we want to help certain people, the way we say we want to do something for someone. what's the motivating factor?

i really want to be able to invest in many lives, esp of those that i see ever so often. of course investments come with risks, but you can stand to gain so much as well. learning from another, or just watching that person bloom, grow, it's an amazing process. i've watched ppl like kat, jan, charis, josh, mark, ben, and it's oooh so wonderful!

and why did i start on that topic in the first place. oh well. haha ben, i think it's cos you repeated what i said just now, and it stuck in my mind. "it's more than something you can just do the night before, it's an investment into their lives". thanks for helping me remember! :)

oh one more thing. 25th march is youth sunday! yay so please come. :)
what was the greatest gift you were ever given?

&the joy.

9:06 PM

life's currently fun. but it seems to be a paradox. fun, yet, nothing much to blog about. hmm.

ohoh, our class calendar is suddenly very much alive! haha it's good to be able to keep in touch with the other SE-ians with mr.tang's magic touch. :) they all seem happy enough in their respective schools. hooray for them.

yay i love vj. :)

&the joy.

4:24 PM

i didnt think i'd still feel this way. coming back home from school just now, i changed bus at the sc bus stop. met kelly on the bus and wow, it didnt seem to hit me but life now is so different from then. the comfort of sitting in the courtyard in the morning, the beautiful gardens and amphi, and of course the dance studios, all gone. not that i'm not enjoying life now. it's fun, i'm enjoying myself. but still...

i saw their bright blue uniforms, long skirts, sc socks and white shoes, and looking down at my own uniform i saw the vjc badge. it's the school of my choice and i love it here, but i cant help but miss the times when we were constantly told to pull up our socks, when we had ownership of our classrooms, when we would go to orchard and island creamery after school. :) mr tang and his care for us. the way we could be completely chor lor and loud in school and become demure (well, sometimes) and quieter outside. hahaha. seems like most are enjoying themselves in their new schools.

jaz, sher, jiayu, i miss you! argh i miss our recesses together, going out after school, studying.. hope you guys are enjoying yourselves, despite us going down 4 completely different paths. we'll go out again soon. just like old times. :)

jiayun, dawn, maria, mini, dancers! i miss hsienfa's and mrs chan's and xujie's and the 2 beautiful dance studios we could call our own. the way we could go in during recess to rehearse, play and eat :P our island creamery outings and vists to costume shop, sonata and stage image. we must keep that up otherwise i wont have people to go dance shopping with! haha can we still do an alumni item?

really, concert was a dream, just like its name suggested.

&the joy.

8:16 PM

life's been whizzing by so fast ever since school started i've hardly had time for anything. orientation was fun with the quiet girls and noisy cat high guys. :) i loved the playing and cheering our hearts and lungs out. sea regatta was especially fun with the dunking part. sea water makes ppl high. or any water for that matter. the 2nd day's water games were high too. it suddenly became many ppl's birthdays and the fountain outside the pt was well used. :)

lessons have started and yay. my class is happy and quite spastic. the guys were playing cards and today we played animal concentration in the gym alley during one of our breaks. and we've already spoofed 2 teachers. hahah all within 3 days of lessons. during the lectures esp those in lt1, it's amusing watching the tables go whoosh and fall spilling all the pens and pencils and notes and other stuffs all over. haha. it happens often when ppl get sleepy and lean on the tables. and the lt started leaking today when it rained! yay how fun.

i think that my class is highly intellectual though. they all seem so smart. i'd better study hard. yay i want to wear the cat high uniform!

&the joy.

8:20 PM

orientation has left me completely shacked. :) but for all it's worth, it was fun. the cheering and dancing and playing games. definitely there were many memorable moments. none of my og mates are in my class though. well it's okay i guess. i'll make new friends and get to know more ppl. :) it's comforting to know that cheryl's in my senior class.

yay monday'll be fun. i hope. we're going to east coast and suntec. :)

our senior class totally spoofed us. the other classes got tricked too. some to a larger extent, some smaller. haha it was funny though. quite believable really.

another long day tmr. hopefully my body will hold up.

i miss sc. i miss dance. i'm going back for dance. hah. somehow i shall. :)

&the joy.