that being my destination.

20061125

9:15 AM

4se. haha mr tang couldnt recognise min2. too chio. :)

i havent uploaded the photos from my camera yet but there are many many of them. yay. haha my eyes hurt from the flash.

so many ppl looked so different. min looked even chio-er than her normal chio self, minichelle looked like some high society socialite :) , alot of ppl looked like taitais. haha shaan was her usual princessy self.

the food was okay, we were more preoccupied with other stuff. like taking photos. haha. the award thingys were quite funny but then the rostrum was blocking my view so i couldnt see much.

the slideshow and video at the end were so so good! aahhh thankyou exco! it really brought back memories of our lives in sc, with our wonderful classes, and teachers! haha their messages to us were so sweet. mstan and her sars, mrang and dyed hair, mrtang and the environment. i think mrs cheong said something about bringing our bai ma wang zi back to see them. :) they are all so sweet.

mrs wang lost her necklace that was red with 3 diamonds. so it was so funny seeing all the girls in nice dresses scouring the floor and toilet, looking for her necklace. we called her again the next day. she found the necklace. in her blouse. hahahhaa.

the little pocket mirror they gave us is really nice. esp the way they gave it. but my table didnt have a candle so we just pretended to blow one off. holding hands, thinking back, then ending it by blowing off the candle, looking into the mirror and seeing yourself, the product of an sc education, supposedly kimgeks :) and jiayu showed us that one side is a concave mirror. so it enlarges the image while the other side is a plane mirror which is normal. haha we were all quite amazed.

spent the night at regent with jaz, sher, jiayu and minichelle. we walked to cine and back. :) haha we were bored and there was nothing to do. i remember! we watched csi! yay. haha before prom we were slacking around.

didnt do much in the hotel, just slacked around alot. watched tv. played cards. and wow mini sure can scream. hahaha it was loud, and high, and sounded as if, in my opinion, she was going to get raped. :)

cant believe everything is over. the next time we see all of them it's when we get our results. :(

i'm an sc girl. :)

&the joy.

11:10 AM

prom tonight. yay. going to take many many photos. :)

&the joy.

12:55 PM

it's been a pretty mediocre holiday.

i spent monday rotting at home. tuesday i went to school for the pae briefing. the graduation photos are so funny. the one of me receiving my scroll has my hair over my face and i look really quite estatic. though looking back i have no idea why. the class photos are pretty though. oh i cant imagine that my class now is not really existent anymore. the last mention of our classes will probably at prom when we vote for the sc star award thingys. ahh. se, service will be disbanded. :( pooh.

so so many ppl have, in zara's words, done stuff to their bodies over the past 5 days. haha. alot of coloured hair, painted nails, etc. anyways. after school sher, jiayu, jaz and i went to vivocity. we walked alot alot. well they were trying to help me find shoes cos it's hard to find one that i like and comes in my size. we played with the nail polish at face shop. and didnt buy any in the end. oops. haha lunch was good. :) fun. but spicy.

after shopping i took a bus down to church. we had a sorta youth cell thing. david got me to lead a song i didnt really know. but the lesson was good. i hope we can keep it up. wow it'll be amazing. need to get started planning the retreat though. ooh i hope it'll be magical just like last year's camp.

i shall rot away today as well. dawn can i have my xmen back. i'm lazy to walk to kap to rent movies so i'll practice stoning. yay.

&the joy.

7:30 PM

the church babies are so so so so cute! haha zach is the happiest kid ever. always smiling, always making ppl smile. :)

went to great world city's tcc with my mission trip sub-grp for a lunch meeting. yummy food. :) joy was so elated over her coffee. haha but it's really quite soon. in 2 weeks time at this time i'll be at the airport probably inside the gate area already going to board the plane. wow. time sure flies.

then i got back to church thanks to auntie eliza. attempted to play some songs on the keyboards (haha ben! i need you!) then i ended up just stoning and christie and dawn called. for what i also dunno. er we tried the carolling thing a bit more. janice, charis, kat and i. then we laminated the cutouts for the two ways to live (click here) and almost spoilt the laminating machine. we really need to start upgrading our equipment in church.

someone go out with me tmr. i've nothing to do. :( maybe i'll go rent some movies. tuesday'll be fun i hope. somehow i always look forward to these youth activities. there's some magic to them that makes me want to go again. :) yay cant wait for the 24th and the retreat. steamboat! yay!

need to start dancing and losing all that lethargic-ness. argh.

&the joy.

10:14 PM

yay i had a packed day full of stuff not studying! haha. went to church for the caroling thing in the morning. i made josh climb in the kitchen window cos kat wasnt there yet and we didnt have the key. haha we were trying to break into the office with a paperclip but it didnt work.

the girls had a lot of fun upstairs we were doing funny HAH things. jan's is really really funny. :)

had mission trip meeting after that. i had to plan the singapore night thing thanks gals for helping me to get something solid out so fast. :) we had injections. jan was facinating about poking someone and seeing the needle go in the flesh. yuck. we were like some labour-intensive factory cutting, punching holes, sorting papers, tying scrapbooks for the kids in india.

then we went to jan's place for team dinner cum fellowship thingy. yummy yummy food! haha the sharing was real good. to hear each member's reason for going, and their testimonies, it really affirms my decision to go. it's so soon, i still feel quite unprepared. pray.

&the joy.

11:57 PM

i almost forgot.

THANKYOU all you lovelies who sent me such nice notes of encouragement, be it through smses, emails, hugs, etc. they really sustained me through this period. i kept all the smses that ppl sent me from the first science prac and whenever i felt sad and disheartened, i would read them again and feel encouraged to press on. <3

never doubt the power of prayer. it works wonders and i've experienced it time and time again.

wow i still feel like i need to study now. more than 24 hrs after my last paper.

okay go sleep i need have a busy day tmr.

&the joy.

8:52 PM

i was just looking through the class calendar dramafest posts. wow. it was really amazing come to think of it. found some super cool pictures. the publicity shots: suave lola tony, bartenders, showgirls.

this one's my favourite

and i found some that shong took. haha they're quite blurry but it's funny.

showgirls, zara, and stefan

i look like some kind of a doll next to chah. haha.

that was a magical day. grace get the video please please please!!

haha shermin was saying that one of the dresses we saw today looks like my dramafest costume. maybe i should wear my gold sequined shiny getai gunnysack thing to prom. hahahah i'll stand out all right.

you know, i still feel that i need to hit the books, or pick up notes or something. argh it doesnt feel like o's are over. i need to study.

hahhaha i'm going mad.

&the joy.

10:58 PM

oh wow it's over. and i dont feel anything much.

cam started laughing like mad when we ended chem. i was still very much in a sad daze. maybe i was too complacent for chem. maybe the paper was just too weird and hard. oh well it's over.

zhi ying's seat had dried blood on it. and the floor below her seat had pools of dried blood. and it wasnt hers. yuck it's so sick i cant believe she didnt realise.

i suddenly remember something funny. yestd after the paper mshing asked who was interested in playing soccer cos one of the invigilators is a soccer coach. hahahaha. it was so funny.

anyways after chem we went to watch step up. :) haha i like the dancing after watching it i really really want to get back to dancing again. it was well, i was more observing the dancing than anything else. i guess being a dancer kinda makes you a critic at these things. i like the jazz routines. yay yay dancing is so fun.

after watching the show we were so high we didnt want to go back yet. though sher wanted to watch her prisonbreak :), we walked to somerset mrt from ps, which isnt really far lah. but we were high. and since og was still open we went in to look at the dresses. and we saw jiayu's. :) and some other really weird designed ones.

come to think of it, i'm gonna miss assembling in the amphi, looking at the seating arrangements at the spiral staircase, rummaging through the boxes for our question papers, sitting at row 12 3rd from the front. :) it was fun. cramming before the paper, coming out feeling quite satisfied. well except a few lah.

and now, i can start doing my long list of things to do. yay. rehearsals, classes, going out, mission trip stuffs, youth stuff of which there are many, yay! haha i'm becoming some workaholic but then again, i'm not one who can sit still. :)

in one and a half months i'll be in vj. i'd better enjoy myself now. so many things i wanna do.

&the joy.

8:13 PM

the bus driver missed the sc stop. again. there was once 171 missed sc bus stop 3 saturdays in a row. why cant they see the bus stop!! made me walk all the way back. :(

haha but now i only have 2 subjects left. yay! at this time tmr i'll be playing. as if i wasnt playing all along. :)

ever felt stuck in a situation whereby you make up your mind on something, then something else appears and you start doubting? then you change your mind and think that that'll be final, then something else happens that makes you doubt again? argh. it's one of those vicious cycles. i need to stop thinking. of those other things i mean. and i need to be more decisive.

okay stop thinking of other stuff. chemchem amathamath relative velocity kinematics p&c. i'm missing sc already.

21hrs more. i'd better get back to chem.

&the joy.

12:12 PM

oh joy. one more day. 4 more papers. 5h45min more of sitting in the hall scribbling on seab foolscap and nice booklets. i have to remember to get back to school by 4pm later.

the whole year flew by so quickly. in less than 2 months i'll be in vj. no more sc. :( tmr o levels'll be over for me.

but during the hols there are so many fun things yay. i've got a whole lot of things waiting to be done i can start tmr!

29hrs left.

&the joy.

5:45 PM

IT'S OVER YAY YAY YAY. hahahahahaha no more bio and geog ever ever ever. :) which i say with a tinge of sadness. cos it really is quite fun to know all about how things work you know.

i think the papers were okay. not guaranteed a1s, but okay. should get me As. though i really want a1s. oh well. it's all in the Lord's hands. i hope i have the courage to speak up on sat.

i wonder how i'm going to take the results when they come out. oh i hope i'll be able to face it. and i want to go back to dance. ballet! but my class is going in for exam next year and i cant go and i'm not sure if i want to go to sba it's such a huge committment and i dont know if i'll have the time and jiayun! can you call them please please please?

i wanna go shopping.

7 more days.

&the joy.

9:44 PM

it was such a happy day.

YAY JIMMY'S ALIVE!! he finally contacted us after a gazillion years. :) my happy thing finally happened. :)

&the joy.

6:11 PM

okay i went to shower and drown away all my stress-ness. for now i'm slightly high again. cos i ate like 5thousand sweets. yay? i'm going to be so sad after tmr. though all that stress will be gone, i wont get to study bio and geog ever again. and that's sad. cos i like learning them. just dont like to be forced to study so much.

congrats dawn! i bet you set a singapore record. who does so well for major exams? wah, it's like a totally unbelievablely super high grade. i want some of your talent leh. and i watched the starlight with you in it. :) miss going out with you. :(

i'm going to grab the photo off grace's blog. cos i havent got to uploading mine yet. there's a really nice one of gracie and shong and i. :)

&the joy.

4:33 PM

no more english. i dont know exactly how it went. i think my essay had an okay plot, but after writing it i felt that it was so badly written but i didnt have enough time to rewrite so i just sat that and felt sad. i'm not sure if it even flows. i mean, i kinda tried to make my persona sound a bit weird, but i think 'i' ended up sounding demented. oh well. it's over. compre was okay i wrote my summary 3 times altogether. it had better be good.

tmr's the dreaded biogeog day i should be mugging but then, in their bid to save paper, the teachers have uploaded all the answers and stuff online. so i have to go through the hassle of turning on the com. and my eyes hurt from looking at the screen.

i shouldnt complain so much. i need a happy thing to happen. :(

i'm so so worried for tmr that i wont be able to write anything substantial for geog and that i'll be bad at applying concepts to paper 2 bio and that i'll forget everything that i studied. and i studied for bio and geog! they're probably the subjects i studied the most for.

and see, i'm whining again. stop it aud.

jehovah jireh. God provides. he cares for the flowers in the fields, the sparrows of the air, why should i worry. but seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

like what we talked about so often when we started our study of ecclesiaties, contentment is hard to achieve. :(

someone quick get me a lolipop. or marshmallows. or something happy and colourful. :( stop being sad audrey.

8 days more.

&the joy.

8:41 PM

YAY. today's papers were goodgoodgood. :D i wrote so much for ss my nails were poking my palm it was so painful. but YAY. happyhappyhappy. now i've 2 subjects down. :)

~~chinese~~
~~combined humanities~~
wed- eng
thurs- biogeog!!! :(
fri- emath
tues- amath
wed- physics+geog
thurs- chem+amath

and then it's all over! YAY.

i was just thinking about the whole being unworthy thing. and that's where the amazing-ness of grace comes in. really, grace isnt like anything we're taught, both sides of the equation dont balance the least bit. just for us sinners, super horrible evil people, say, a -123456789 x 987654321, Christ, who's greater than infinity, died for us.

so, it's -123456789 x 987654321= infinity. yay. completely does not make sense but that's grace. something totally underserved.

anyways. i've got a song. :)
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

yay thanks jan for helping with the thingy. our talk on the whooshy things yestd was really fun. :) can't wait for india.

&the joy.

6:25 PM

oh my! i'm getting my life back. yay! haha i suddenly have so many more things than studies to blog about. :)

yestd i went with my mum to pick my sister up from school. i was standing at the school gate, waiting for her to come out. saw some familiar faces, brought back some memories. but. primary school kids nowadays hardly look or act primary school like anymore lah. some have coloured hair, many piercings, everything of their's branded. and hear their speech. like whoa. who ever taught them such things? the world is becoming worse and worse by the day. oh, i cant wait to be living in Christ's kingdom.

went for the parachute band concert at the esplanade with yujin, ivy, kenneth, grace, shan and kat. it was really good i think. more like a worship session than a concert, it was amazing really. and as i was singing, something really hit me. the words of the song amazing love.

amazing love, how can it be
that you my king would die for me?
amazing love, i know it's true
and it's my joy to honour you.

i'm so dearly loved by friends, and so wow. the extent of God's love is far too great to fathom. and for someone like me who's totally unworthy of it, he is truly great. that's why i loved the transition into the next song. good song choice. :)

how great is our God, sing with me
how great is our God, all will see
how great, how great is our God.

he really is great, and worthy of all our praise. :)

prep for mission trip's real exciting. except the part that we all have to get flu jabs. :( i'm not exactly fond of needles. still remember back in p6 when we had to get injections. everyone had to have 2, i only needed one cos i already did the other one before going to the states. we kinda made a bet that the girls wont cry and the guys would instead. and the girls won! yay. none of us cried. but if i remember right, there were 2 guys who did. wont name them. haha. and i also remember that darren was there, and he was cheering everyone on, jumping up and down, acting like a clown to get them to laugh even though he too was in pain. and now he's a councillor. go yongzhi! :)

there's so much youth stuff happening during the hols. yay!

13 days more.

&the joy.

11:04 AM

today's lit. and i'm online. yay. i've no idea how i'm going to remember all the stuff i studied when i go for my exams. not lit, but stuff like geog and bio and ss. pooh.

right now, my mind is in a total whir. like a blender with all kinds of stuff dumped inside and the switch hit on. exam knowledge, mission trip stuff, all kinds of things all mixed up. sometimes, mixing up random things can taste good. but then again, at other times it can be absolutely revolting.

14 days more.

&the joy.