that being my destination.

20060929

8:09 PM

one week of agony. my results suck. :(

lousy lousy i hope for moderation. :( aahhh!

oh well. at least it's cos i didnt study much. so now i have to mugmugmug. :( and i went for dance today!! :) even though it was only for half an hour and all i did was jumping twice, it was so so fun! :) yay. i like dance. haha.

training tmr again! yay i'm going to learn so much useful stuffs, unlike ultrafiltration and agglomeration. :)

&the joy.

8:39 PM

carwash yestd. yay. at least it worked out. :) gracee i managed to complete my list of things to do by sat 12mn. :)

argh. i need to prioritize. everything's just swimming around now, and i'm just stuck in between.

got back eng and ss today. my compre was so so so so so bad. hopefully paper 1 wasnt that bad. :( see i dont get how i can care so much about my grades even though i hardly put in any effort. i need to put in more effort.

just read grace's entry on change. i guess i'm like that too. afraid of change. i'm just too comfortable as i am now. and i fear change.

taima (my great-grandmother) passed away at the ripe old age of 94. i wonder if anyone told toby. her wake is all so traditional and superstitious. as great-grandchildren, we have to pin the cloth to our sleeves. and they want so much to stick to tradition. yet. it was so cold, unfeeling. the ppl there didnt seem to be there to remember taima. it was so different. when godgrandpa died, and when godma's mother died, everyone seemed to be full of feeling. the pain of loss, coupled with the joy of knowing that they had gone to somewhere so much better.

everyday they pass me by
i can see it in their eye
empty ppl filled with care
headed who knows where

they really are so empty. yet they try so hard to fill it with various superstitions and whatnots. the answer is just there. as the speaker on sunday said, the cage door is open, all we need to do is show them the way out.

life without Jesus, is like a doughnut, 'cos there's a whole in the middle of your heart. -the doughnut man. :)

how true is that. such nice imagery. :)

i hope i'll be able to go through the rest of the year with the right mentality. i cant totally neglect my studies, but i cant make it entirely my life either.

and i miss dance. argh. it's a feeling hard to forget.

&the joy.

10:51 PM

went to kap to study with ben, kat and josh. supposed to help josh pass his science so that he can be promoted. :) hope you remember all the stuff we taught you about partially permeable membranes and such. :) haha. dont fail us.

i ate 2 corn dogs, a happymeal :D, and manymany of josh's fries. oh yeah. and the pizza biscuit things kat bought. aiyoh.

after josh left kat and i had a really good talk on er. everything. on passion, on serving. on how to live a life worthy. yay it was good stuff. and hahahaha. we actually managed to talk about superficial stuff and funny it was. :) like hilarious. oops we may have talked too loudly.

tmr's the carwash. deardear. hope it'll be fine.

pray.

&the joy.

3:02 PM

msheng is retiring.

cry. after 38 years. and wow. our new head prefect rhea is so sweet. they really know how to choose. perfect successor for li-shan. :)

ms heng told us stories of how sc became what it is today, becoming one of the first 4 independent schools (the other 3 being mg, ac, sji) and how sad she is that she's leaving. i think it was an emotional 30min for all of us. :( i'm glad she was my principal.

she told us of how our school building now, was built on not money but prayers and faith. the many many prayers of the staff, and students. it's how God works. :) the stories are so touching. sc will miss her. and it will change so. :(

we drew a prawn today. cheryl poked her finger and there was a lot of blood. yuck. yuck. i cant stand blood.

the body talk thingy was quite fun really. haha the trainers were nice. one was an ex-sc girl and she told us about mrtang and his vegetable garden. :)

just yestd urban had an article about aesthetic doctors and all, and today's thing was about natural beauty. i think plastic surgery is really stupid. unless you have some sort of deformity. cos normal ppl look normal. and i think looking normal is good. :) nowadays beauty is so superficial, and ppl dont even bother to look beyond. that's why we have so many problems in society.

the lady says we should tell ppl that we appreciate them for who they are, and that everyone is different, so they shouldnt try to be someone they are not. and dont be anorexic.

so, i appreciate you! :)

we each got a free dove facial wash. :)

&the joy.

10:22 PM

yay. last paper yestd. went out with shermin, jiayu and jaz. and we realised how much orchard has changed. and i think i havent been there in months. wow. too cooped up at home. doing nothing. man i really must stop doing nothing. it's an utter waste of time.

we had so many pracs today. it's so tiring. we had to draw our eye, do some photosynthesis thing, qa, va, some mass,density,weight thing, electricity. tmr we're only having bio. yay. shong says to wear pe. i dont think i'll be able to fit my skirt anymore. :(

should i go for dance tmr?

&the joy.

5:48 PM

oh i just remembered something super funny. that day after the teamdinner, we went to uncle boon choon's house to celebrate his birthday. and i was super bored, cos liane and jodie werent there. uncle boon choon's brothers were there. i think the two of them were his brothers.

anyway. it was time to cut the cake. the brother number 1 stood up. brother no. 2 stood up. slapped no. one on the cheek. a black bug fell down. hahaha. okay. i'm not a good story teller. but it was super funny lah. cos no. one looked at no. two like "what do you think you are doing?!" and then no. two said casually, "mosquito."

hahaah. he really slapped him. and it was loud. and funny. hahah. okay now i've something happy to think about. =)

&the joy.

5:35 PM

like jaz says, tmr is only a day away...

one more paper to go! yay. then we can go out. except that i already went out today. but tmr i can go proper out. :) yay. i hope i dont fail a math.

the carwash's on sunday. so soon. hope we'll do it right. check out the india trip blog at http://eefcmission-india.blogspot.com . :) cant wait for that either.

my legs itch so much from that big black mosquito flying around the keyboards on sunday. who said that there wasnt one? i'm bringing insect repellant next time.

&the joy.

9:47 PM

die die die. a math was so bad. i couldnt do the last 3 questions that altogether were 28 marks!! aiyah. must study for paper 2. must. haha. as if i will. i need some konk on the head to start me working. which i havent yet. and i have 3 papers left.

physics is so fun, yet so hard to score. and challenging, which is good under normal circumstances, but not in exam conditions.

jane's leaving today. soon. and i cant go send her off. :( i'm going to miss her the most-est. out of the 3 j's that left. cos jane's my godsis leh. and all these years, she always takes care of me... ack. i miss her already. her jellybelly jellybeans, marshmallows, haha and her small pillow we would put on the bike for her to cycle me around. we shall write letters. the way we used to when i was in the states. on nice hellokitty paper. :)

audrey needs to stop being so clingy.

&the joy.

9:55 PM

mission trip training yestd. we learnt that Jesus makes God known. :) that's what we learnt. and we had a team dinner which was really nice with good food and all. looking forward to the trip. :)

today celebrated teachers' day 17 days late. :) haha. we had 2 types of "salad". veggie salad for joy and colin, potato chip salad for yu-jin and ivy. :P yay. love our teachers. and yummy yummy food. also celebrated ivy's bday with a cheesy "you light up our lives" card and a lamp with her names and our names on it.

then we went off for lunch and stuff as usual. haha surprised matt with the sudden appearance of jimmy. :) yay. jammed a bit. studied even less.

and now that jimmy came back, even if it's for less than 24hours, argh. that feeling of reminicence is back. and jane's leaving tmr. which is even sadder. :( and my parents dont want to allow me to send her off cos i have exams and the flight is at night. but still.

:(

&the joy.

9:14 PM

biobiobiobio. yuckystuff.

went to ikea with kat to get some gifts. :) so fun. and went to get funny random stuff at harbourfont. the wonderful harbourfront foodcourt is really nice. and there's so much space to sit, no one chases us away. yay.

heeehee. so many surprises brewing. my lips are sealed. i just hope i dont leak it in my sleep. :) i bet you know. :)

audrey has exams. audrey went out. audrey isnt studying. audrey dies for prelims.

anyways, i've been thinking. life is so pointless during exam period. i cant even do meaningful stuffs, and some people are not listening.. oh well.

audrey's now excited about going to mission trip training tmr. yay.

&the joy.

2:05 PM

kallang. one of the most wonderful places in the whole world. and i hear it's going to get torn down?

looking through dance photos. saw this super cool one of i think vicki (cos of the super nice legs :)) and minyi in the background. i miss dance.

next week when i go for hsien fa's, i die. i'm so out of shape now. :( all those years of training, just stop because of exams. :( it shouldnt be that way.

i'm going to miss scdance. i already do. all the fun. the dancing.

oh well. it's back to study now. :(

&the joy.

1:30 PM

thankyou to all who wished me happy birthday, and thanks for the presents. i now have many more pairs of earings. haha. :)

chem was hard stuff.

&the joy.

8:31 PM

something's wrong with the computers in my house. cannot log onto msn. argh.

yay. geog's over. so no more scary stuff. yay. now i'm going to er not stress myself out for the rest of the papers and play! :) haha.

&the joy.

9:51 PM

i'm totally overwhelmed. deeply touched. feel very loved. i dont know how else to express it. ack. i really really truly thank God for friends like you. love you so so so so so much!!

everyone was acting weird yestd. that's why i let kat talk to my mum, and i kinda acted ignorant. haha. but i totally didnt expect this.

kat was like, "hey aud, we know how much you want to see us united as a youth group, so we put this together for you." and i was just expecting a card and cake or something like that. but no, everyone was part of it, playing an instrument, singing... and the song! how apt. it's what josh started learning when we started out together. and now, we've improved so so much, just like the song. just thinking of it makes me want to cry. you guys know me too well.

and the 4 guys who put the puzzle together for me, thanks. i didnt think you'd stay up so late just to piece together a puzzle for me. :) and it's meaningful too. ok i know you chose who to be who, but i shall rechoose it. ha. my dearest bodyguard joshua shall be mickey. :D and the singing one- pluto, shall be our dear choir boy, matt. :D er. mark can be the tallest one then, and ys the donald. :P

thanks everyone :) i'm totally underserving. <3 lovelove.

&the joy.

6:06 PM

i'm so touched. haha. thanks for giving me such a special birthday present. it's better than anything i ever expected. thanks so much! my mum's chasing me to go to my grandma's place for dinner now. so i'll blog about it later. so anti-climax. bleh.

&the joy.

8:44 PM

as much as i know i need to study. i cant.

&the joy.

2:55 PM

it's amazing how music can bring back so many memories. the nevermore song just started playing on the computer. and i had to turn it off. otherwise my mind wont focus on blood clotting, but rather on the concert. the lights, the stage. the air. nothing beats that.

when hsienfa first taught the third movement, dawn, maria, jiayun and i were on the bus, listening to it on dawn's ipod, counting the counts. :) oh how lovely those times were. running round and around in circles, getting scolded by hsien fa for not running fast enough, i'd rather that anyday than being cooped up with textbooks. i miss the dance studio and it's smell of feet. hahaha. but it's true. i wish i never had to go do o's. then i could go and dance everyday during recess just like we used to.

in sec one we all learnt dibrov, the original solo one. then ms deans put it into a group piece. wow. and it was all so long ago. window wiping colours of the wind, marathon run like lost in your eyes. and the hk girls just came back. another dance trip over. soon the pri girls will be going to perth. without us again. i'll take all the memories with me, the laughter and tears. long bus rides in nz, the rotten egg smell of rotorua, playing in the studio, watching the beautiful dancers.

i'm too melancholic.

&the joy.

12:19 PM

helped janice to set up the india trip blog yestd. yay. having a fund raising meeting later. which means that now i have to study. :(

talked to jimmy yestd with kat, weitat and eechen. we conferenced on weitat's phone. but things have changed so much in these few weeks. well, God always knows best. all we can do is to follow.

i realised how much i dont know. energy changes, nuclear stuff, a whole lot of bio, how to go in for the exam. :( i cant wait for all this to be over.

&the joy.

11:10 AM

okay. i so should be studying now. but argh. i just cant bring myself to do it. and while everyone is mugging every waking moment of the day, i'm slacking my days away. :(

31Aug- teachers' day
it was be yourself day in school. dressed up as superheroes. :D judged the sec 2 dancing/aces routine. yay. go 2gy! they were really synchronised and all looked like they knew what they were doing.

fuzzeh and i :P

then i went back to btps. stupid school, they wouldnt let us in till 2. so we stood outside talking, argh, i didnt know how much i missed pri school. the guys are all so tall now! lester, tim, derrick, darren, and daniel looks so different. we really must have a reunion soon.

and i had to leave super soon. cos we were leaving for kl. :(

kl was quite fun i guess. just that i didnt manage to study as much as i had planned to. my dad planned a surprise for us and brought us to genting. 2 days of study time! oh well. at least we had fun.

the church there is very small. just a house, somewhat like 307. wow. it has a really small congregation, but besides that, it's almost the same as eefc. :) made me miss you guys.

croc hunter guy died. how sudden. see, death can happen when we least expect it. so we must always be prepared and ready. God can take us away whenever he wants to. at least we know that He has a sovereign plan, and everything he does is for the best of us. :D that's why we need not fear death, because we know where we're going afterward!

&the joy.

8:54 PM

just read the latest mission trip email. yay. so exciting. ladeedah.

okay. i shall update later. just got back from kl.

&the joy.